and you said cock pushups were impossible
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
