U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize