I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
