he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
