Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
