She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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