Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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