You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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