she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
