i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
