Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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