Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
