Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I died a long time ago.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
