I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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