dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
home. puking in laundry basket.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
