You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
