she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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