Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And then my night got REAL pukey
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
