you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
