if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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