It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
