this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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