Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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