He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
