i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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