No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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