Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
should my penis look like a turkey
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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