Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Houston, we have a squirter
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
