I can text with my tongue
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
