I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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