Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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