drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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