dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
