There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
