you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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