I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
