i just identified you from a description of your pipe
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
