I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Please, let me fuck your mom
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
