he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
