I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
sex in a hospital.. check
So vagazzling was a success
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
