You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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