The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize