Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
