the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize