dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
