Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
be right there i have to get my cape
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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