just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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