Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
pray to the hookup gods
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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