i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
