My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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