My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize