hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
