Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
