The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
