1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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