If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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