Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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