I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
