How's work?
Spinning.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
