We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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